a question about dying...

[yellowjacket]

Really more about blood count and at what point death comes...

Say someone is ate up w cancer ..like in brain, lungs, neck,abdomen...like teminal and estimated life left of weeks/ months.... Then that person starts bleeding internally and passing blood....to the point of blood count being down to 6.. then is admitted to hospital to get up to 10 is the goal.....

Well if that person is terminal w cancer and determines not to have a colonoscopy at hospital because already know they are dying,and even if they did have it performed had determined not to have surgery on what was found (if it turned out to be not cancer related) anyway...

Soooo...is this gonna be a repeated performance over and over again?..person loses so much blood, blood count drops, go to hospital for iron and epo(?)... Blood count comes back up, go home, lose blood, back to hospital, ect.....

Im assuming that at some point this person is going to become tired of the hassle and just wants to stay home and pass peacefully as possible...how can one expect that to play out? Is there a blood count number that is the point of death? And how will it end? Will person just get weaker and lose consiousnes? Or..?

Im sure someone on here can explain stuff to me in ways i can understand..thanx!

[Trigger]

My cousin had lung cancer a couple years ago and this is basically what happened with him. He got to the point where he and his family agreed that it was just too much. The Drs pretty much said there was nothing more they could do for him and he knew he was dying. He went home, had his family around him, had pain management medicine and basically just faded away. I was not there when he went, but from my understanding, he got weaker, went into a coma and never woke up.

The reason I put "and his family" in italics is because he seeked the counsel of his family before making the choice. It was the honorable thing to do and we all admired him very much for it.

[yellowjacket]

Did loss of blood eventually get him?

Originally drs said the tumor on neck would make it harder to breath and effectively would die suffocating which is terrible so i would guess that loss of blood getting it over first would be an upgrade..if there was an upgrade .. But im not versed in these details and wondering how it will all play out

[fordman00]

Sorry for what's happening rob. But to give you my experience. my aunt( which really isn't my aunt,my grandmas cousin) recently died july 28 of this year after battling cancer off and on for 4-6 years don't remember. But it started out with breast cancer and she beat that doctors said shell make it, then she was diagnosed with kidney colon cancer and beat that, then she was diagnosed with breast cancer yet again, beat that and the last one which took her away was liver cancer, the doctors gave her 3-6 months to live that's it. She had "beat" it we were told once again and she went to Florida for the winter and came home early because she was sick turned out to be colon cancer coming back and she lived another year almost with it I saw her 5 days before she passed, she was coherent, ate a decent lunch ( which was unusual) and than walked to restroom and to car for treatment, 2 days later she was in the hospital doctors said it could happen anytime, the day before she passed she was alot better looking my uncle said, and when she passed not even 24 hrs later my grandmother was right beside her holding her hand as she went.there was nothing more anyone could do. It sucks alot and is very hard and emotional to deal with even not being there when she went, my uncle and aunt we're married 52 years and I don't know how he'll end up but I pray for him and ill pray for you and your family rob. Just be "prepared" if there'd such a thing.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC

[93 Krawler]

My nephew was diagnosed with brain cancer at 1 yrs old. After a year of chemo and radiation they sent him home with morphine for his last days. He died a week after his second birthday. He was always happy and positive to the end. After seeing my mom and mother in law pass in front of me, they both went in to a coma before they passed. The body seems to shut down that way.

[kenjeep1835]

I sorry if someone in your family is going through this... I just had my grandpa died of cancer last year... He had cancer and when they when in to remove the section of cancer, spread like wild fire thoughtout his body oxygen to the fire kinda thing.. he went very fast thank God... but he had the same thing your talking about... he went into a coma and slipped away within a few months and didnt have a long painful battle... hope this helps..

[dougg01]

(heavy sigh)

Good grief. I get tired of hearing this. I am much more keenly aware of it these days.

I'll keep it short. If you want to talk - I'm not that far South of you.

My grandfather died of bone marrow cancer in '76 when I was 9. All I remember was this seemingly large, husky man I saw once or twice a year was now in a hospital bed weighing about 140lbs and he gave me money every day to run downstairs to the vending machine to get him a 'bit-o-honey' bar.

I lost a high school teacher to it.

there have been many others.

My mom got bladder cancer about 9 years ago. She had surgery, follow-up treatment, and even did the checkups for a while. It came back, she did it all again, and then time went on. She never stopped smoking. She had a stroke, had surgery to repair one and was waiting for the other when it was determined she likely had cells growing again because of a test result. She did nothing. My step-father did nothing. Her Dr urged her to do something and they still did nothing. I'm guessing she was tired of it. << Not the same person that raised me, but instead someone that had declined over the years to near my step-fathers mentality of 'do nothing' as a general rule. she collaspsed and arrested. they got her heart going again, but the attending said blood flow was compromised (due to reduced flow anyway) too long. when we got to UW they had barely seen any brain activity. the kidneys had shut down beacause of the cancer's spreading. counts were rediculously low. she seems to almost be there, but not. They put us in the pallative care unit. wonderful folks doing a job no one else wants to do. At this point there was no other option because she did - nothing. so, no opportunity to see the grandkids one more time. No chance to have another talk with family. I understand the lack of desire to fight it futher, but to do nothing in regards to family and all is ultimately selfish. Kinda like having kids and riding a motorcycle without a helmet. You are only thinking of yourself.

she took 5 days to finally let go.

two weeks later they found my tumor with a scope. Large, aggressive....bladder. I'm a life-long non-smoker and was only 42 at the time.

Surgery 36hrs later. Treatment. Scope. Treatment. Scope. Cont.... 3 years now. Last maintenance treatment is in November. Scopes are every 6 months. I barely take a breath with the scope or the medicine catheter. Its not a big deal. the affect of treatment affects me for a few months. It's 70% chance of it returning and of that its 80% of being more severe. Carrying a bag that is filling up mostly with blood for 10 days along with a stint in one ureter (lets not forget the cath that is regularly scraping the urethra and causing it to bleed) isn't the least bit fun especially during an ice storm and extended power outage. Getting BCG (attentuated TB) placed in your bladder and enjoying muscle-exhausting spasms for days isn't either. the prospect of not having a bladder or other organs on the next go-round doesn't play well. enjoying spittle and a tiny bladder capacity tolerance is just annoying until I don't go for a bit then the sharp sting says 'empty now..!!!'. And my junk is weak compared to folks fighting other cancers and especially for those much younger than I.

I have kids, a wife, and I've not done all I want to do. If it returns or whatever comes I'll fight tooth and nail. When I am over 60 and this junk comes around I won't be so quick to judge 'doing nothing' verses the struggle. I will, however, make that decision (instead of doing nothing) with my family and will keep them close and informed. They can't support me if they don't know what is going on and how I am feeling about it. we believe my exposure came in the military due to either the chemicals I worked with and/or my time in Desert Storm.

My father-in-law, a great man to me, had prostate cancer. Had surgery. He lets us all know how his PSA is every time he gets it checked. << Vietnam veteran with 3 real purple hearts (including the sucking chest wound that send him home) and lots of health issues he didn't cause. I wouldn't blame him one bit if he 'gave up', but would pound him mercilously if he did so without talking to us.

Any decision I will not question as long as family is considered and informed. If that isn't done it's just selfish to let it end and I will call folks out on it.

See - I can speak about it because I've been there and back again. My 12-yr-old changed when I came home from the hospital. He never seems to want me out of arms reach. He can't tell me how much he loves me often enough it seems and this all happened when he was 9. More is caught than taught and you cannot minimize the impact of any decision whether it's to fight up to the end or to just let it run its course.

[biggin69]

Damn....speechless....

[humpy]

Wow!! I'm with biggin!! Hats off you u dude for still staying positive.. 90% of the population would be down and not wanna fight! Keep it up! And holler if u ever need anything!

[SixFtUnd]

God cancer sucks and it seems to be getting worse my wife's cousin was found to have the onset of brest cancer my wife has thyroid cancer nothing compaired to what your talking about seems like every time you turn around anymore someone has cancer

Try to keep positive

[adamkn]

Really more about blood count and at what point death comes...

Say someone is ate up w cancer ..like in brain, lungs, neck,abdomen...like teminal and estimated life left of weeks/ months.... Then that person starts bleeding internally and passing blood....to the point of blood count being down to 6.. then is admitted to hospital to get up to 10 is the goal.....

Well if that person is terminal w cancer and determines not to have a colonoscopy at hospital because already know they are dying,and even if they did have it performed had determined not to have surgery on what was found (if it turned out to be not cancer related) anyway...

Soooo...is this gonna be a repeated performance over and over again?..person loses so much blood, blood count drops, go to hospital for iron and epo(?)... Blood count comes back up, go home, lose blood, back to hospital, ect.....

Im assuming that at some point this person is going to become tired of the hassle and just wants to stay home and pass peacefully as possible...how can one expect that to play out? Is there a blood count number that is the point of death? And how will it end? Will person just get weaker and lose consiousnes? Or..?

Im sure someone on here can explain stuff to me in ways i can understand..thanx!

My grandfather was diagnosed with leukemia when he was about 89. He was given approximately 3-6 months to live. When they first started the treatments of blood/chemo, he responded well and he was able to maintain a pretty decent quality of life. This actually continued for about 2 years.

But after those 2 years, he started suffering from pretty severe fatigue, and the treatments didn't offer much relief or improvement - so basically once the treatments were ineffective at improving his quality of life, that's when the doctors suggested that we stop treatments, call hospice care and let him pass away peacefully.

[itbrokeagain]

Sorry to hear this Rob. I have a question also. Lets say you have something going on but it isn't in a place you cant detect yourself, what usually triggers you to realize something isn't right?