A Christmas Letter from Timmy - Not for kids (Rated R)

[Green Zuggy]

Sharing a little Christmas joy with a letter from Timmy...

Dear Santa,
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the
reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I
would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for
Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones
* *
Dear Timmy,
Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all
fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the
time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn’t want you to
get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I’ll bring you
something you can go outside and play with.
Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus
* *
Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the “naughty vs. Nice” contract,
set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to
granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn’t want to turn this
joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don’t you think that a jibe at
my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit
trite?
Respectfully,
Tim Jones
* *
Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the “nice” criteria,
need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it
a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action,
well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney’s have been
on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be
more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I
alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social
skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the
bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.
Very Truly Yours,
S Claus
* *
Now look here Fat Man,
I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was
attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends
into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I’m about to tweet my boys
and we’re gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I’m taking my game console,
my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!
T-Bone
* *
Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on
one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? “He sees
you when you’re sleeping; He knows when you’re awake”. Sound familiar,
genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your
**** wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people
that if I described them right now, you’d throw up your Totino’s pizza roll
all over the carpet of your mom’s basement. You’re not getting what you
asked for, but I’m still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in
you’re ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.
S Clizzy
* *
Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I’ll appreciate anything.
Timmy
* *
Timmy,
That’s what I thought you little bastard.
Santa

Merry Christmas to all!

[Runoveru2]

That's a good laugh... I needed that today, by the way anyone else notice that we are still here today ?

[fastford]

Originally Posted by Runoveru2

That's a good laugh... By the way anyone else notice that we are still here today ?

It's like the movie THE SOURCE CODE, we are all dead living in a dream world, with one exception... Our lives are still as miserable as they were when we were alive! angelwings

[tjjeepjeep]

Originally Posted by runoveru2

that's a good laugh... I needed that today, by the way anyone else notice that we are still here today ?

stolen from facebook, thanks Gryphon...

[Green Zuggy]

Originally Posted by Runoveru2

...by the way anyone else notice that we are still here today ?

The day is not over YET!!!! ;)

[WrenchMonkey]

Originally Posted by Green Zuggy

The day is not over YET!!!! ;)

Solstice was at 6:30 eastern. I think we're in the clear...

[Flxratd]

funny...

and are we still here.....how do you know this to be true..
al gore designed the interweb to stand up to anything i heard him say so

[gothodgie]

I had to steal that Jeff... pretty darn funny...

[itbrokeagain]

Originally Posted by fastford

It's like the movie THE SOURCE CODE, we are all dead living in a dream world, with one exception... Our lives are still as miserable as they were when we were alive! angelwings

Is this the matrix?

[fastford]

Originally Posted by itbrokeagain

Is this the matrix?

Nope

[yellowjacket]

Source code was an awesome moovie. although i never really understand how they connected him telepathically to the real guy that was really on the train......

Had jake jillinhall in it i think

[comanchedude]

Synopsis
When decorated soldier Captain Colter Stevens (Jake Gyllenhaal) wakes up in the body of an unknown man, he discovers he's part of a mission to find the bomber of a Chicago commuter train. In an assignment unlike any he's ever known, he learns he's part of a government experiment called the Source Code, a program that enables him to cross over into another man's identity in the last 8 minutes of his life.