Slade 11/7 and 11/8

[78Buford]

Chapter # 9: Friday Night

On the way back to the campground, Jamie mentioned a couple times that he needed to stop at a gas station. Pete was then saying over and over, “Hey Roy, Jamie needs to stop at the gas station.” Then Pete repeatedly asked Jamie over the CB if he needed to stop by the gas station. All of us drove approximately 25-30 mph for the multiple mile trek back to the campground. The Ford felt pretty solid, but many had a lot of mud in their tire/wheel assemblies causing serious vibration/death wobble at speeds over 25 mph. We arrived at the gas station, and Pete and I noted that there were a couple goofballs staring at out junk……mine in particular. The one fellow was wearing some sort of Daniel Boone wannabe hat. With the window down, I loudly asked Pete, “I wished I could find a hat like that.” Pete replied even louder, “Yeah, I’ve always wanted one too.” Danny Boone eventually started staring elsewhere. Brad commended about the sexy hat as well.

We arrived back at the campground. Jim left his Bronco parked, and headed back to a hotel with his wife & children in his nice Chevy tow-rig. Cliff and Mike loaded up their rigs and headed back to their hotel as well. Howard and his buddy camped with us. The park ranger stopped by, and Jamie and I approached him. He was a real nice guy, and told us, “Off the record” that while drinking wasn’t allowed at the campground, as long as we were well behaved, and we didn’t leave a bunch of containers in plain sight, he didn’t care. He was a good dude, and he inquired about our club, we discussed the weather for the following day, etc. I eventually walked away when Pete arrived back at camp in his Ranger. (Pete had went on a beer run) and I was picturing Pete jumping out of his truck, screaming, “Dudes, I scored, I got three cases….WAHOOOO!!” Luckily, Pete did no such thing. Jamie continued to BS with the Ranger Guy, and eventually I went and grabbed Brad’s camera and said, “Jamie come over her and look at this picture,” in an attempt to get him away. Burgers and “Meat Dogs” went onto Brad’s cool cooking tripod, and many beers were consumed. We reminisced about the day’s events, and stayed up quite late. Jamie called my house around 10:00 pm, and left a message….something to the effect of, “Hello Mrs. Higgins, we’re all sitting around the campfire getting drunk, Roy is eating raw hamburger, and he made it up Widowmaker. Call us when you get the message.” For those who care, my wife was ill with the flu and sleeping. She received the message around 4:00 am when she awoke and couldn’t get back to sleep. For the record, the hamburger I was eating was over the fire…..just not for very long. We all turned in after well after midnight. I forgot to mention that Friday for breakfast, we enjoyed sausage patties with cheese cooked over the fire on bagels. The sausage I consumed wasn’t fully cooked. Pete’s was better than mine but still not quite done.

Chapter # 10: Saturday Morning, the Shower Incident, Pete’s Problems, and Jamie’s Shovel

Brad, Jamie and I awoke and started the fire. Pete was still asleep in his tent, and we wondered if he was still alive. The campground was equipped with heated restrooms and two heated shower stalls, at the far end of the campground. The previous morning, I had borrowed Jamie’s new “NFL” bar of soap. I had left it wrapped in a shirt back at the campsite. Friday morning, I had been ragging on Jamie about his “NFL cologne” that was included in his travel bag. “What exactly is ‘NFL cologne’ supposed to smell like……a jock strap?” Well Saturday morning, I walked into the bathroom/shower room, and there was a line. Brad was wanting a shower as well, and he and Jamie went into the crapper to kill some time. (They went into separate ones, not the same stall). I was rummaging through my pile of clean clothes, when I head glass breaking. I had dropped my $50 bottle of Polo cologne……and was now standing in the best smelling Sheet-house in Kentucky. I cleaned up my mess. It should be noted that the older dude in the shower was taking FOREVER, and making peculiar grunting sounds. I was getting mildly perturbed at the dude, and simply wanted a shower and to get the hell out of there. Eventually the other shower stall cleared out, and I walked in. “Oh fawk, you don’t have any soap,” I realized. “Hey buddy, you wouldn’t happen to have any extra soap in your stall do you,” I said to the methodical grunting man with no face in the next shower stall. “Ugh, well you can wash this one off and use mine.” I put my hand over the top of the stall, and was handed a used bar of soap in a box. I later found that Brad was mildly appalled by me asking a stranger for used soap, but I didn’t care……better than smelling like stale cigarettes and beer from the night before. Eventually, we cleared the shower house, and I once again noted that it smelled pretty good in there…..it better since it had my nearly new bottle of cologne all over the floor.

Back at camp, Pete was still in his tent. We hollered for him, and finally he came out. “Dude, I don’t know what happened….right after we went to sleep, I had the sheets.” Pete went on to tell that soon after he turned in, he awoke and frantically had to move his bowels. We all began to look around and wonder where Pete had did his business, as he wasn’t talking, and he said that it occurred on multiple occasions throughout the night. About ten minutes later, Jamie yells, “Hey Pete, what the hell is this,” pointing to a place near the campfire that observed to have been scooped out with a shovel. Pete had an ornery look about him as he denied any knowledge of what Jamie was talking about. Seconds later, Jamie was inspecting his shovel that he had at camp, hollering, WTF Pete, there is human feces on my shovel!” Pete Burst out laughing as did the rest of us. Jamie was soon wading into the creek, cleaning his shovel, asking Pete why in the hell he would do his business so close to the campfire and use his shovel for disposal purposes? Pete eventually stopped laughing long enough to inform Jamie, “Dude, that is as far as I could make it…..I barely made it out of my tent.” It should be noted that while all of this was going on, the entire group had arrived at camp, and Jim’s wife and several others were shaking their heads, and laughing, listening to Jamie and Pete argue over Pete’s late night bout with intestinal distress.

[78Buford]

Chapter # 11: Slider, Last Chance, Mike & Cliff’s Departure

Saturday, we started around 10:30 am, and ran the Nature Trail again. Pete led us to a muddy, steep, long climb in a ravine known as Slider. Brad drove down a very steep, slippery bypass trail that was mildly rutted, but not rutted to the point to keep one in line in things went awry on the descent. I didn’t want to drive down the hill, and found there was another way to get around to the bottom. I watched Brad hit the hill many times in his Blazer, with the Diesel screaming, and the 38’s churning in the goop. Brad was able to get probably ¾ the way up the hill, and his diffs would drag, halting progress. Jamie took off in search of the other way to get to the bottom, and Howard jumped in with me to get to the bottom…without driving down the greasy hill that Brad did. Brad had observed to be intimidated by carb, and I wasn’t. Brad didn’t observe to be intimidated by the greasy hill, and I didn’t like the idea one bit. To each his own, I guess. Brad eventually stopped trying the hill after many attempts.

When we arrived at the bottom, Jamie gave it one try, and backed out of the way, and parked near Brad’s Blazer. Jamie was hollering to “get on it around the curve.” I idled along, and crawled up the hill, further than Brad had made it, but I couldn’t get much further. I made it maybe 10 feet past where Brad did. Brad had been stopped by dragging diffs. I backed up a couple times and held it to the floor, but it did not look much different to onlookers than my crawling attempt. I could turn the tires, but not fast enough to conquer the hill. I had been stopped by lack of wheel speed. No one else wanted to try Slider. Brad took off driving up the bypass (that I was afraid to drive down). It should be noted that last night, I called Lambert to fill him in on the weekend’s events, and he mentioned that Kevin M. and gotten about half sideways going up the Slider bypass hill, and wanted winched. This is the same hill. Brad made it to the top with minimal problems. Jamie followed with his foot to the floor, and made it to the top. The problem was that Brad was still piddling around trying to get the Blazer through a tight set of trees. Jamie had to stop with his front wheel over the top, and rear tires still on the ledge. If it were me, I would have pushed that Chebby on over the other side of the hill…….well if Jamie tried that in the YJ, he probably would have rolled over backwards down the hill. Brad eventually got out of the way, and Jamie had to back up a little, pop the clutch to get going again, but he managed to crest the greasy hill. Howard and I put on out seatbelts, and I advised Howard that if we tried the hill, and were stopped, he needed to hold on, because the trip down may be rough. The Ford grunted its way up the hill without drama. Brad had bent his driver side front wheel on rocks on the hill, and was busy “hammering the leak out of the tire.” He had it corrected with two different size hammers and many blows.

Cliff had been having pesky problems with his fuel system again, and he and Mike (Superman) needed to be off the trail soon. It was bout 1:00 pm on Saturday at this point.

The next obstacle we came to was called “Last Chance.” It consists of a deeply rutted (on the right side) and two huge rock ledges. Superman tried several times, and I don’t think that he could get over the first ledge…..if he did, it took a while. Superman backed down. Brad tried next, and made it up the first ledge, on the first attempt. It should be noted that there is another uphill greasy, mucky section before one can get to the second ledge. The first ledge was steeper on the left, driver side. The second ledge was steep all the way across, but the way the hill is “designed” the passenger side tire will hit the ledge first. There is also a tree on the far driver side, on top of the ravine that could halt progress………….if anyone actually got that far. Brad made many attempts at the second ledge, but was unable to get to the ledge, the greasy, mucky section stopped the Blazer, even after multiple attempts at backing the rear up to the first ledge, and giving it all she had. On Brad’s last attempt, he blew a bead on the driver side front……the wheel that he had damaged on Slider earlier in the day. After the Hi-Lift came out, it took three tries with starting fluid and air running to the tire from my odd-ball A6 OBA setup to seat the tire. After about 20 minutes with Pete sitting in the Ford, revving it to 1800 rpm or so, me operating the alligator clips to activate the OBA, and Cliff and Brad operating the explosions, all was well with the Blazer.

I tried the hill and took a couple attempts to get over the first ledge, unlike Brad who made it on the first try. I, unlike Brad was able to crawl to the second ledge, but after many tries, and getting my passenger side front to start to climb the rock, it never once “felt like I almost made it.” The hill/obstacle was simply nasty. I backed down after about five attempts.

Cliff and Mike found there way back to pavement with the assistance of Lugie.

I had to drive on ahead because we missed a turn and ran into a couple local guys in a built solid axle Toyota. After talking to them for a few minutes, they mentioned that they had ran Widowmaker about a year ago, and broken axles and steering parts, went home, rebuilt several components of their truck, and successfully ran it this weekend. Someone apparently told them that I had managed to get my pile through it, and they wanted to take a picture of it. They snapped a couple pics of the Ford, and I asked them, “Have you guys ever viewed a longbed truck on Widowmaker?” The driver said, “No, that is why we wanted a picture.” Howard was standing nearby, and I said, “Howard, am I lying about it?” “Nope, I told them that you made it through there,” replied Howard.

Chapter #12: Mooning, The Cave, My Column Shifter, Moonshine

We made our way to stump cave, with the two local guys in the Toyota joining the five of us. The Toyota began to over-heat, and I sprayed down the radiator with my 2 gallon deck sprayer. All was well. We approached a steep, relatively short rutted hill that was optional. Jamie made it up, I followed, the Toyota went next, and then Jamie, Pete, and I formed a quick plan. Pete stood to one side at the top of the hill, Jamie stood at the other side. When Brad was halfway up the hill (crawling it) both Pete and Jamie mooned Brad from opposite sides of the top of the hill. Brad arrived at the top shaking his head.

We arrived at Stump Cave. We were able to play on some large rocks, and park our vehicles in the cave. After watching the Toyota play on the Rock for a while, Jim bought his youngest son Kyle over to my truck and asked if he could ride with me, as he’d been asking for a while. “Sure, strap him in,” I said as Jim buckled him into the passenger side of the Ford. When we went to leave, I started the truck, and could not get it out of Park. I yanked on the column shifter to the point I feared I’d break it. Howard offered help, and Jamie offered tools. I used my Hi-Lift to jack up the cab….I thought maybe the linkage was binding…..actually Howard did. It wasn’t. When I unhooked the column linkage, the transmission linkage moved freely. After a couple minutes, Howard used a punch from Jamie, to start knocking the roll pin out of the column shifter, but it wouldn’t come all the way out. Brad came over and said that he had a roll-pin punch, and after he produced it, out came the column shifter. Apparently all of the flexing from two days worth of hard trails had lowered the cab on the truck….and when I crammed it into Park, the shifter passed a stop that wasn’t supposed to be passed, and it became locked in Park. After the shifter was removed, I had to turn the column by rotating part of it. It worked fine, and I had all gear positions. The roll pin and shifter were chucked into the tool box, and Jamie and Brad’s tools were returned. I’d like to thank Howard for jumping in to help work on the truck, and Jamie and Brad for assisting with tools.

We headed out of the cave in search of the weekend’s last obstacle…..Moonshine. Jim’s young son told me that his mother had commented over the weekend, something to the effect of: “Why would he drive that truck that far from home, drive it like he does, and not have a trailer?” I explained that I: a) did not have a trailer, b) did not have a truck to tow it with, and c) that was a good question.

Jim and his wife have really good kids……I advised both of them that is what I thought on Friday night at the gas station…..and I advised them that I cannot honestly say that about a lot of parents that I meet. I said this at about the time when I was insulting the guy with the funny looking hat…..I’m not sure how old their son Kyle is, but I’d guess about 7 or 8. Sometimes it takes a simple question from a little guy to put it in perspective: Just what in the hell was I doing beating on the truck 300+ miles from home………because it is a Ford, because I built it for the most part, because I can, or because so many told me that I couldn’t run with the big dogs on a certain trail. The answer is probably a little of all of the above………..or simply stupidity on my part. I’ll leave that one open to debate.

We arrived at Moonshine around 3:30-4:00 pm on Saturday. This was to be our last obstacle of the event filled weekend. Brad, Jamie, Pete and I wanted to get back to camp before dark and pack up out junk, and head to a nearby town and find a hotel….according to the park Ranger, it was supposed to be a “washout on Sunday morning” and I did not want to be packing up all of my camping junk in the pouring rain with a 300 mile journey home in the Ford.

[78Buford]

The hill looked nasty, as already mentioned. Read Jim’s link about “32 dual locked rigs that were battered and broken” after trying it when it was wet…….and none of them made it. Jim tried and made it to the first rock. His driver side rear tire was rubbing beadlock bolts violently against the rock, and he could not get any further. After four or five tries, Jim backed down. Howard tried next, and couldn’t get as far as Jim did, before backing down. Brad went next, and after many attempts, left the Blazer bouncing on a rock, it was observed that his passenger side front axle wasn’t turning. Brad backed down, and later determined that a D60 stub axle was broken……he showed it to s at the end of the ride……about 45 minutes later. I decided to try Moonshine.

I told Brad before anyone attempted it that I would be surprised I couldn’t get up it, and that he and Jim had a good chance to get up it. I hit the first rock a couple times before getting over it. I hit the second rough section a few times, before getting over it. I hit the last section several times, and did not get over it. At one point, I asked Brad and Lugie to open my hood and add two quarts of oil, because I could hear the lifters ticking………that means it’s low on oil. They could not get the hood open because the truck was flexed in the ravine. After I backed up a ways, they managed to open the hood, and Brad dumped two quarts of cheap oil into the 460. I tried a couple more times, giving it all she had, and the truck was unable to climb the 4’ jutting rock on the driver side, and the 3’ jutting rock on the passenger side. The trail was muddy, wet, sloppy, etc. I had made it farther than everyone else, but that means nothing to me. The bottom line, No on in our group could get up it. Period. I later asked Pete what was stopping me, and he noted, “The size of your truck……you didn’t have a choice of lines….you just had to hit it and hold on……wasn’t much else you could do.”

Chapter # 13: Saturday Night

To be brief (for once………I’ll be brief….I’m getting tired of typing) her is how the rest of the night went:

Back to camp, loaded up our camping stuff, headed out after dark for Winchester, KY.
Jamie, Brad, and I found a Days Inn for $49.00. Pete was off solo in search of a liquor store. This was about 8:45 pm. Staff advised us that the bar was open until 9:00, the restaurant was open until 10:00, and that the waitress could provide beer until 10:00. We ran to our room, dropped our stuff, none of us changed, added deodorant, etc, and ran back to the restaurant. We were advised, “We’re closed.” All of us were kinda upset that we had been lied to. We went to an Applebeas restaurant and I found that it is against the rules to order more than one tall Budweiser at once. Anyway, we all had a few beers, some decent food, reminisced about the weekend, and Pete left at this point. I again complimented him on his spotting skills, Jamie apparently forgave him for using his (Jamie’s) shovel for scooping up his own excrement, and we all said goodbye to “Dirty Peter.”

Jamie, Brad, and I headed back to the hotel, had a few more beers, discussed future off-road modifications, and went to sleep around 1:00 am. Brad had a bed, Jamie slept in a sleeping bag on the floor, and I had the window bed for all of you who were wondering.

Chapter # 14: Sunday Morning, The Ride Home

Sunday morning, we awoke, had breakfast at a Waffle House, and headed home. Jamie stayed in Winchester for a while to develop pictures. Brad and I headed out. I was pimping down the road in the filthy Ford, listening to a “Greatest Hits of the 80’s CD.” Brad was cruising along in his nice new Chevy tow rig. Brad and I went out separate ways in Cincinnati.

Chapter # 15: Three Days & Good Friends

I arrived home around 3:15 pm, Easter Sunday. I fished around in the truck’s ashtray for the remote entry fob I had stuffed in there Thursday morning…..seemed like a long time ago…..a lot had transpired in the past few days. I hit the button, and wearily parked the Ford in the garage……oil still dribbling out of the rear main seal.

Chapter # 16: The Ford

Before I turned off the ignition, I tapped the steering wheel a couple times, glanced around the 27 year old interior, and said, “Thanks old buddy……you made me proud.”

Roy

[78Buford]

I'm finished now.

[94Dodge Truggy]

My finger would be worn out by now with no fingerprint left!

[Redriverranger]

There is no way I can read all that, as much as I like a good book. You may have missed your calling. I think I could summarize it in:

"After we got there we hit the trail and I hit the gas and climbed it. It was a good ride...."



"I only turned over twice..."

"Can't wait to go back!!!"

[boomhauer]

rotflmao

[KargoMaster]

Originally Posted by 78Buford

“Dirty Peter” as I called him throughout the weekend...

Ask Pete about the WindRock trip that left him looking like a brown smurf with bloodshot eyes and crunchy spit...

I thought I was verbose in capturing the details of a trip... I happily turn that championship belt over to you... great read...