Child custody

Nuts · 03-09-2012, 08:17 AM

Does anyone know if in Ohio in order to get "shared parenting" both sides have to agree to it, or can the courts set it up that way? I have my daughter more than her mom does,legally and on paper, but her mom has "full custody" and I just have "visitations". I asked my lawyer why they didn't give us "shared parenting" and he said that both parties have to agree to it. So now I pay child support and insurance like I only see my daughter once a week and every other weekend, but she actually stays at my house 3 nights one week and 5 nights the next. Like most dads I feel like I'm getting screwed and don't have any options....

GPER · 03-09-2012, 08:39 AM

My daughter and son in law went through mediations and then court for shared parenting of his son. They had social workers checking on their homes, but they did get the shared parenting.

smack4130 · 03-09-2012, 08:56 AM

she will never in a million years agree to that you are paying for her lifestyle and she is happpy about it why in the world would she want to have to work hard for a living

Nuts · 03-09-2012, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smack4130

she will never in a million years agree to that you are paying for her lifestyle and she is happpy about it why in the world would she want to have to work hard for a living

I know she won't thats why I'm trying to find out if it can be set by the court if she doesn't.

truk · 03-09-2012, 11:10 AM

if your daughter is 12 she can pick where she lives. if you can prove she stay with you more and have a good atty you can get full custody. i went thru it 5 yrs ago. but my wife was dating a pervert and the police got involved so she had no choice. i just kept myy] daughter till the court made it finial.

Coppertop · 03-09-2012, 11:15 AM

Theres a law firm who advertises on 700am.Sorry,I don't remember the name,they specialize in the father's rights in a divorce.Talking with them or someone like them should help.

Good Luck
Nick

yozuki · 03-09-2012, 01:42 PM

Best to document when she stays with you and how long it been going on. And then head forward with actions. I have a bud that went through the same situation and they granted shared but he ended up with full custody in his situation. I believe because of the documentation ..

Nuts · 03-09-2012, 01:45 PM

Theres nothing to document,its set up from the court already that I have her that much, but some how they call it visitation and her mom has full custody. Thats the problem, I have to pay support, insurance and actually feed her and take care of her more than her mom does and her mom doesn't have to pay anything....

oklahomawelder · 03-09-2012, 03:17 PM

Fighting a losing battle.
Believe me, I have went through just what you are talking about. She will never agree to it cause if she did she would not get to enjoy things like she does now with you paying CS.
I bit the bullet and paid it and finally at 16 my son made the decision to live with me full time, but I still owed some back pay from years ago, so guess what, he lived with me full time and the ***** still got $360 a month for 2 freaking years.
It's very hard to get shared/joint custody and usually because the freaking ***** won't agree to it cause she wants the damn money....

Ok, I'm done....lol

Nuts · 03-09-2012, 03:33 PM

I know she won't agree, the question is can/will the courts order shared parenting even if she doesn't want it?

oklahomawelder · 03-09-2012, 06:47 PM

More than likely NOT.....

smack4130 · 03-09-2012, 06:56 PM

stupid whores and there titties and such makeing men make very poor life descions

Incommando · 03-09-2012, 07:53 PM

Allegedly shared parenting is only available if both parties can work together and put aside their differences for the best interest of the child(ren.) Having to force one side to this agreement shows the court that it is not going to work that way.

If you have the cash to fight it and the divorce is not final refuse to agree to any settlement unless you get shared parenting. If it cannot be resolved then the court decides and you stand a chance of getting custody. If you aren't willing to accept full custody in lieu of shared parenting they probably won't give you shared parenting even if she agrees to it....
You can fight back for this after the divorce is final but if you have already agreed to give her custody once and as that decision is supposed to be made "in the best interest of the child" then you are starting off way behind.

Good luck..

cincygman · 03-10-2012, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nuts

Theres nothing to document,its set up from the court already that I have her that much, but some how they call it visitation and her mom has full custody. Thats the problem, I have to pay support, insurance and actually feed her and take care of her more than her mom does and her mom doesn't have to pay anything....

That's the way it usually goes. Look up the firm that Coppertop referred to and at least pay for a consult to see if there is anything that can be done. Its worth a look at. Been through the whole deal myself. Send me a PM if you want to talk further. :)

donaldcon · 03-12-2012, 12:56 PM

even with shared parenting you pay support. I have shared of my 7yo and I still pay her becuase she is with her 51% of the time. only way out of support is with full custody, and her getting visitation.

And yes the court will rule shared parenting in some cases. They did mine. I filed for it and I won.

Incommando · 03-12-2012, 01:50 PM

I have shared parenting but she only gets the kids the time specified in the standard order of visitation: every Wednesday and every other weekend. The only reason it is listed as "shared parenting" is for her to avoid paying me child support. I assure you she pays no child support although I have the kids about 70% of the time just as if I had "custody."

With shared parenting the judge has more discretion to eliminate/amend/or alter child support whereas there is little to no leeway when one parent has full custody, according to the worthless POS I have to deal with at CSEA with my spousal support.

In Ohio shared parenting is not supposed to be forced as a guideline, but obviously judges do what they want half of the time as it is a guideline, not a requirement.

cincygman · 03-12-2012, 07:57 PM

Also, as far as paying support goes, the only other way to get it lowered even if not custodial parent is if she has equal or more income and even if the custodial parent remarries or gets married to a millionaire, it still doesn't matter. they only look at their W2 not household income. Yea, another part of the whole mess that blows. :(

donaldcon · 03-13-2012, 05:29 PM

Like incommando says, pretty much the judge can do anything they want.

Your best hope is to file for full and if she is smart shell agree to shared. She can also agree to a lower support amount.

I have shared custody, but only legally get her on the weekends and alternate holidays.
I pay $150 a month support.

03-09-2012, 08:17 AM	#1
Nuts Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: middletown,oh Posts: 508	Child custody Does anyone know if in Ohio in order to get "shared parenting" both sides have to agree to it, or can the courts set it up that way? I have my daughter more than her mom does,legally and on paper, but her mom has "full custody" and I just have "visitations". I asked my lawyer why they didn't give us "shared parenting" and he said that both parties have to agree to it. So now I pay child support and insurance like I only see my daughter once a week and every other weekend, but she actually stays at my house 3 nights one week and 5 nights the next. Like most dads I feel like I'm getting screwed and don't have any options....

03-09-2012, 11:15 AM	#6
Coppertop XJWHEELING Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Colerain Township Posts: 837	Theres a law firm who advertises on 700am.Sorry,I don't remember the name,they specialize in the father's rights in a divorce.Talking with them or someone like them should help. Good Luck Nick __________________ Just a 200 dollar cherokee that wouldn't start .. Ten years later same chrome grille ..

03-09-2012, 01:45 PM	#8
Nuts Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: middletown,oh Posts: 508	Theres nothing to document,its set up from the court already that I have her that much, but some how they call it visitation and her mom has full custody. Thats the problem, I have to pay support, insurance and actually feed her and take care of her more than her mom does and her mom doesn't have to pay anything.... Last edited by Nuts; 03-09-2012 at 01:57 PM.

03-12-2012, 12:56 PM	#15
donaldcon Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Lancaster Ohio Posts: 383	even with shared parenting you pay support. I have shared of my 7yo and I still pay her becuase she is with her 51% of the time. only way out of support is with full custody, and her getting visitation. And yes the court will rule shared parenting in some cases. They did mine. I filed for it and I won. __________________ www.offroadohio.com www.facebook.com/offroadohio1 www.youtube.com/offroadohio1 www.photobucket.com/offroadohio

03-12-2012, 07:57 PM	#17
cincygman Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Pleasant Run Farms (near Fairfield) Posts: 378	Also, as far as paying support goes, the only other way to get it lowered even if not custodial parent is if she has equal or more income and even if the custodial parent remarries or gets married to a millionaire, it still doesn't matter. they only look at their W2 not household income. Yea, another part of the whole mess that blows. :( __________________ Romans 7-8

03-09-2012, 08:39 AM	#2
GPER Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Kettering, Ohio Posts: 811	My daughter and son in law went through mediations and then court for shared parenting of his son. They had social workers checking on their homes, but they did get the shared parenting.

03-09-2012, 08:56 AM	#3
smack4130 Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 50	she will never in a million years agree to that you are paying for her lifestyle and she is happpy about it why in the world would she want to have to work hard for a living

03-09-2012, 11:10 AM	#5
truk Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: troy ohio Posts: 87	if your daughter is 12 she can pick where she lives. if you can prove she stay with you more and have a good atty you can get full custody. i went thru it 5 yrs ago. but my wife was dating a pervert and the police got involved so she had no choice. i just kept myy] daughter till the court made it finial.

03-09-2012, 01:42 PM	#7
yozuki Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: EARTH Posts: 84	Best to document when she stays with you and how long it been going on. And then head forward with actions. I have a bud that went through the same situation and they granted shared but he ended up with full custody in his situation. I believe because of the documentation ..

03-09-2012, 03:17 PM	#9
oklahomawelder Tradin' Fool Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 86	Fighting a losing battle. Believe me, I have went through just what you are talking about. She will never agree to it cause if she did she would not get to enjoy things like she does now with you paying CS. I bit the bullet and paid it and finally at 16 my son made the decision to live with me full time, but I still owed some back pay from years ago, so guess what, he lived with me full time and the *** still got $360 a month for 2 freaking years. It's very hard to get shared/joint custody and usually because the freaking *** won't agree to it cause she wants the damn money.... Ok, I'm done....lol

03-09-2012, 03:33 PM	#10
Nuts Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: middletown,oh Posts: 508	I know she won't agree, the question is can/will the courts order shared parenting even if she doesn't want it?

03-09-2012, 06:47 PM	#11
oklahomawelder Tradin' Fool Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 86	More than likely NOT.....

03-09-2012, 06:56 PM	#12
smack4130 Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 50	stupid whores and there titties and such makeing men make very poor life descions

03-09-2012, 07:53 PM	#13
Incommando Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Kettering OH Posts: 61	Allegedly shared parenting is only available if both parties can work together and put aside their differences for the best interest of the child(ren.) Having to force one side to this agreement shows the court that it is not going to work that way. If you have the cash to fight it and the divorce is not final refuse to agree to any settlement unless you get shared parenting. If it cannot be resolved then the court decides and you stand a chance of getting custody. If you aren't willing to accept full custody in lieu of shared parenting they probably won't give you shared parenting even if she agrees to it.... You can fight back for this after the divorce is final but if you have already agreed to give her custody once and as that decision is supposed to be made "in the best interest of the child" then you are starting off way behind. Good luck..

03-12-2012, 01:50 PM	#16
Incommando Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Kettering OH Posts: 61	I have shared parenting but she only gets the kids the time specified in the standard order of visitation: every Wednesday and every other weekend. The only reason it is listed as "shared parenting" is for her to avoid paying me child support. I assure you she pays no child support although I have the kids about 70% of the time just as if I had "custody." With shared parenting the judge has more discretion to eliminate/amend/or alter child support whereas there is little to no leeway when one parent has full custody, according to the worthless POS I have to deal with at CSEA with my spousal support. In Ohio shared parenting is not supposed to be forced as a guideline, but obviously judges do what they want half of the time as it is a guideline, not a requirement.

03-13-2012, 05:29 PM	#18
donaldcon Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Lancaster Ohio Posts: 383	Like incommando says, pretty much the judge can do anything they want. Your best hope is to file for full and if she is smart shell agree to shared. She can also agree to a lower support amount. I have shared custody, but only legally get her on the weekends and alternate holidays. I pay $150 a month support. __________________ www.offroadohio.com www.facebook.com/offroadohio1 www.youtube.com/offroadohio1 www.photobucket.com/offroadohio

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