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Laws of Life

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  • Laws of Life

    LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR
    After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

    LAW OF THE WORKSHOP
    Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

    LAW OF PROBABILITY
    The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    LAW OF THE TELEPHONE
    If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

    LAW OF THE ALIBI
    If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

    VARIATION LAW
    If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

    LAW OF THE BATH
    When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

    LAW OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS
    The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

    LAW OF THE RESULT
    When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

    LAW OF BIOMECHANICS
    The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    LAW OF THE THEATER
    At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

    LAW OF COFFEE
    As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

    LAW OF LOCATION
    No matter where you go, there you are.

    LAW OF LOGICAL ARGUMENT
    Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

    BROWN'S LAW
    If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

    OLIVER'S LAW
    A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    WILSON'S LAW
    As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

    DOCTORS' LAW
    If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
    Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it,
    But only you can feel the true warmth.

  • #2
    Maybe this is why I never really cared about laws!
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