Police Humor

[eighty3bronco]

Sarge, Do you use any of these?




These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one
you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.
They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because
that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that
means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I
don't think it will help. Oh, did I me ntion that I'm the
shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to
do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether
you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place
where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs
and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now
we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a
personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post
your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

#1 "You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're
right, we don't. Sign here."